Many children who have learning differences feel tremendous frustration and suffer problems of self-esteem due to their failure in school. Too many have very little insight into the basis of their problems. Dr. Mel Levine, a developmental pediatrician, and specialist in children with learning disorders recommends the following practice to help these vulnerable youngsters cope better: demystification. This is a procedure that can help children by clearing up for them what their problems are. Dr. Levine believes that professionals should be the ones to do this 'demystification' but that it is helpful if the parents are present. This way the family can adopt the same terminology and point of view with the child at home.

Here are further tips from Dr. Levine about demystification:

Start by helping a child recognise his or her strengths."This should never be conveyed through false praise (the ultimate put-down)."

Give children the names for their problems. He uses the following example: "You have what we call a word finding problem that makes it hard for you to answer questions in class"). Dr. Levine points out that it is difficult for someone to work on improving something if she doesn't know what to call it!

Give each of the weak areas a number (e.g., "There are four things that you need to work on making stronger..."). As Dr. Levine states: "This way, the child doesn't come to feel totally defective or mentally retarded (a very common fear or fantasy); instead he has four areas that need improvement in order to do better in school."

Use analogies or visual diagrams to illustrate areas of function that need work.

Create optimism by discussing all the ways that a child can be a successful adult with the strengths he or she has.

Don't allow learning differences to serve as excuses. "A student should not come away feeling that she can "cop out" of work or responsibility because of a dysfunction. Rather, children must realise that now that they understand themselves better, they are accountable for working hard to overcome the effects of their problems."

The demystification process changes according to the age of the child. "Early adolescents (especially 8th graders) are often the hardest to work with. They want so desperately to be like everyone else that they hate to learn of their differences. They require great patience, persistence, and empathy on the part of the demystifier."

NOTE FROM KATE: Parents of high maintenance children under twelve would be well advised to make sure their child receives this demystification well before he or she enters puberty!!

Make sure teachers know what a child has been told. "It can be seriously confusing to a student if the school has an interpretation that contradicts what the child and the parents believe."